Do you ever have those days that drag into a night where sleep eludes you because your mind is being a complete asshole and replaying everything you’ve ever done and labeling it as WRONG IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY? I just had one of those last night.
While I’m no stranger to these ruminations, those sleepless nights are coming faster and furiouser as my official business launch date looms ever closer. It hits differently now because I’m actually creating a business out of thin air, out of my own mind, following my own curiosities, learnings and joys.
Y’all, this shit is vulnerable and scary and requires some next-level thinking and feeling that I’ve never needed before. It’s the first time I’ve ever gone beyond dreaming of creating something different into actively creating it.
No wonder my brain is feeding me these scary thoughts!
- What I’m trying to do now is bullshit.
- I’m not qualified.
- Who the hell do I think I am, anyway?
- No one is going to want this.
When I woke up, just as yucky-headed as before, I sat down with my journal and my coffee and just wrote it all out. All of my worries, all of my hopes, what these feelings are giving me flowed out of my head and on to the page. Then I reread my brand story, the one I wrote for myself, the one that I created to remind myself of my vision when times get hard. I was reignited by my excitement and invigorated by my clarity.
And I realized, all of this yuck, these mean intrusive thoughts, they’re all just part of the process. Nothing has gone wrong.
This is my metamorphosis.
I started as a caterpillar, eating all the leaves, saying yes to everything, moving from branch to branch. I’ve been in “the goo” before, in that messy space between where I was and where I wanted to be. In the past, I have always gone right back to caterpillar, too afraid to move beyond the pain of growth to transform into something new.
Today, I know that this pain I’m feeling is coming from the goo transforming into something real, something with wings. Soon enough, I know I’ll be flying.
And you know what, this will be true for you as well. If you’re looking to finally create a brand and a business on purpose, it’s going to require you to go through this pain and doubt and fear and all of it!
I now fully understand that THIS is why my brand story process takes place over a 5-week period rather than a short intensive. You need to try this shit on for size and be sure it fits. It’s important to experience the discomfort of moving from being responsive to other peoples’ wishes, into building something new and something intentional. Maybe even something no one’s ever seen before!
Me going through this is a FANTASTIC THING. Me going through this allows me to be a better support for you and your journey into becoming who you truly are for your business, for your clients, and for yourself.
Do you feel that change coming on, too? I’d love to talk to you!
May we all become the butterflies we were meant to be…
Xo,
S
